


Are you fucking insane?

by flickerbyniall



Series: Prompts [6]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, i just wanna point out that the names are te prompts so, its not like it describes the whole story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 09:45:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14542020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerbyniall/pseuds/flickerbyniall
Summary: Harry remembers Niall singing while looking through the window when it wasn’t his turn to drive. And when it was his turn, Harry remembers sitting in the copilot seat trying to distract him, stealing kisses, pecking his cheeks, biting his neck just to make him tickle and Niall would get so irritated but he would smile at him anyway. Because they were in love, and Harry has never been happier.





	Are you fucking insane?

Niall falls asleep the first half hour. Harry is tired, but not enough to make him stop to take a nap, he couldn’t anyway if he tries. His mind is all over the place, but he forces it to concentrate on the road, even when he knows it like the back of his hand. Harry takes a glance of the sleeping Niall at his side and he can’t help to remember the numerous times they did this trip for birthdays, Christmas or random weekends.

Harry remembers Niall singing while looking through the window when it wasn’t his turn to drive. And when it was his turn, Harry remembers sitting in the copilot seat trying to distract him, stealing kisses, pecking his cheeks, biting his neck just to make him tickle and Niall would get so irritated but he would smile at him anyway. Because they were in love, and Harry has never been happier.

He clears his throat and tightens his grip on the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. Turn on the radio and lowers the volume just to have the feeling of company.

*

Harry parks Niall’s car in front of Bobby’s house sometime around five in the morning. He stays there in his seat for a couple of minutes, trying to figure it out. What is he gonna say when Bobby finally opens the door and sees his son with his ex who has not shown signs of life for the last three years?

He swallows before he opens the door and goes around the car to get Niall out of his seat. Harry places the brunette’s arm over his shoulders and holds onto his waist to help him walk without actually waking him up. Niall is mumbling words in Harry’s ear, resting his forehead on his neck and yawning, supporting his whole weight in Harry’s arms.

They’re halfway to the door when it opens alone, showing a Bobby holding a rod, a little bag and wearing one of those weird fishing hats. Harry freezes the moment he sees him, just like he does, squinting his eyes maybe trying to convince himself he’s actually looking at his son almost falling on his feet and Harry desperately trying to catch him.

Bobby helps them going all the way to Niall’s old room to drop him in his bed. Niall is still sleeping, his dad is looking at him with his hands on his waist, sighing. Harry is in a corner of the room, asking himself if he should say goodbye and go to find a motel so he can sleep for a couple of hours before going back to Dublin.

Before he can made up his mind, Bobby clears his throat and points at the door with his head, telling Harry to step outside with him. They don’t say a word until they’re on the first floor.

“We’re fishing.” That’s all Bobby says before going to his garage for another rod and a folding chair, along with a bigger coat to put in the trunk of the car.

Harry nods, not knowing what is okay to say or do anymore. He hates the feeling of not knowing how to talk to Bobby, not when he used to laugh and drink with this man since he was allowed to drink.

It’s not a long drive to the lake, Harry knows it, but with the radio off and the tension in the middle, it feels like hours. It takes them less than fifteen minutes to put the chairs in the shore of the lake. Bobby has a thermo with tea in it, so he pours Harry a cup and the sits there, holding the rods, waiting for a fish to chop the hook.

“Would you care to tell what’s all this?” Bobby’s voice is calm as he breathes the cold air around them.

“I… I found him in a bar in Dublin, he was drinking a lot. I couldn’t let him drive here.” Harry answers, slowly.

Bobby nods as he takes another sip of his drink.

“Where have you been?” he finally turns to look at Harry and he can feel himself choking on his own saliva. This is beginning of _the_ conversation, Harry figures.

“America.” Harry whispers, and he has to repeat himself because of the wind. Bobby nods.

“Would you be the one to tell me what happened?”

Harry frowns.

“I found him-” starts saying again, without taking his eyes off the man next to him.

“No, Harry,” Bobby interrupts him. “I’m talking about three years ago.” Harry takes his eyes off his face and looks at the lake, feeling his neck getting hotter. Bobby sighs. “All I know is that my son was gonna propose one weekend and he came back home sooner than expected saying you both decided to end things.”

Harry looks up again, wide eyes and mouth open, feeling his pulse on his neck and his wrists, trying to make sense of what he just heard, but he can’t because he feels like he’s gonna puke in any second and all the clothes he has on are suffocating him. His hands let the rod go as he holds his head with both of them, he barely hears Bobby stranding up and coming to him until he feels his hand on his shoulder.

“It’s all my fault.” He cries, because it seems that’s all he’s gonna be doing here. “I got scared.”

“Scared of a long stable relationship?” Bobby asks above him, his voice unshakeable.

“I got cast in a big movie.” Harry tries to control his breathing, holding Bobby’s hand in his. “I ended things with Niall because of that. I didn’t think we could make it.” He laughs, because he can see how ridiculous that thought was now.

“I don’t remember seeing you in any poster, boy.” Bobby says, sitting next to him again.

“I had a car accident the first couple of weeks I moved to Los Angeles. Was in bed for a sometime, mom had to move with me for a couple of months.” Harry shrugs. “So I didn’t make the movie and I decided to stay and try to start a new life. I didn’t think Niall would take me back.”

Harry drinks his forgotten tea and wipes out the tears from his eyes. Bobby places a hand on his knee and squeezes it.

“I’m glad you’re good now, son.” He says, and Harry feels warm inside.

“I’ve missed you, Bobs.”

The old man smiles, patting his back.

“We’ve missed you too.”

Harry is the one smiling now, but it doesn’t last long because something is pulling on his rod and he has to take it from the ground so it won’t fall into the lake. Bobby stands up to help him and pulls the fish out of the water. Harry starts laughing not believing his luck, but the moment he sees the fish struggling, he begs Bobby to let it go.

*

They go for breakfast to the town, to the same dinner they used to go every time they spent time in Mullingar. Nothing has changed, not that Harry expected it too. It makes him feel good, gives him hope, like time didn’t go by and he can actually fix things.

They catch up on everything they can. Like family and work and some mutual friends. Harry notices how Bobby is trying to skip the fiancée subject of the conversation and he appreciates it. Harry finishes his eggs and French toast and waits for Bobby to drink his coffee before getting in the car and driving to the house.

“What got Niall to drink like that?” Bobby asks, looking at him on the corner of his eye.

“It’s not my place to tell, Bobs.” Harry answers, giving him a little smile.

Bobby frowns, but he doesn’t say more.

They leave the car in the garage and Harry takes the food they bought for Niall when he wakes up, but the moment they step into the house, all that they can hear are screams.

“You need to listen to me, Niall!”

It’s a woman yelling and Harry holds his breath as Bobby closes the door behind them. He looks at him and Harry doesn’t know what to say but he has a pretty good idea what is going in that moment.

“No, I don’t, Jen. And my head hurts enough so please, shut up.” Niall says, hoarsely.

The conversations seems to take place in the kitchen and Harry doesn’t want to be anywhere near it. So he stays right where he is, standing next to the sofa, looking at Bobby who’s taking his coat off and hanging it on the coat rack by the door.

“Please baby, we can figure this out.” She is crying as well, seems desperate and Harry feels sick to his stomach.

“Don’t touch me.” Niall says, slowly, almost like whispering, and it hurts Harry in some way. “I’m calling off the wedding.”

Harry almost drops the food he has in his hands and Bobby stops whatever he’s doing to look at him, he comes closer, looking furious and for a second, Harry is scared.

“If this is your doing, boy…” he whispers angrily and Harry shakes his head.

“You can’t do that!” She’s screaming again. “What about the apartment? The reservations? My dress, Niall. We’re getting married in a month, you can’t do this.”

Harry puts the food on the coffee table and sits in the sofa. He doesn’t want to hear this, it’s none of his business and it doesn’t concern him at all, but he can’t seem to find his way to the door.

“I didn’t just see you kiss him in the restaurant, Jenna. I followed you both to his flat and I stood in front of his fucking door for twenty minutes until it was too obvious what was going on in there.”

She cries, hard, like her soul is being shattered and then the sound of breaking glass fills up the house. That’s when Bobby decides to walk in and Harry just hopes Niall is okay, if you can be anything near that in these kind of situations.

The next thing he knows, she’s being taken out the kitchen by Bobby, she’s holding onto him, crying and trembling, her makeup is all over her face and her hair is a mess. And the thing is, Harry sees it, what Niall would like about her, what he would get to love.

She’s beautiful, even with the red nose and the swollen eyes, she’s fierce, strong and determined just by the way she’s looking at him, which confuses him, especially when she slips from Bobby’s arms to walk directly to Harry.

“You gotta be kidding me!” She’s mad. Harry can feel it in the way she’s pressing her finger in his chest. “Really, Niall?!” She screams and Niall’s head pops out of the kitchen.

Niall locks eyes with Harry and for a second everything goes away and it all goes numb. Harry can’t feel or see anything but Niall. He looks at him like he’s surprised, but then he remembers and look at his feet before he walks to him and takes Selena out of his face.

“Are you fucking insane?! Your fucking ex?!” She takes Niall’s arms off her and looks at them both until she laughs.

“You need to leave now, Jen.” Niall says, looking at Harry and he feels like he’s telling him that too.

She bites her lips and her eyes tear up again. Bobby walks her to the door and she puts her coat on. He tells her to wait outside, that he’s taking her to the train station and she cries again.

The house goes incredibly quiet after they hear the car leaving. Niall smiles and shakes his head and all that Harry wants is to hold his hand, so he puts both of them in the pockets of his jeans. Niall sits on the sofa and rests his head looking at the ceiling.

“I guess you drove me here.” He says and Harry turns around just to see him with eyes close and his extended arms on the surface of the sofa.

Harry nods until he remembers Niall can’t see him, so he sits slowly, trying to put a rational distance between them before answering the question.

“I don’t wanna talk, Harry.” He says, fragile and tired.

“That’s okay.” Harry answers, whispering because it feels appropriate. “Do you want me to leave?”

Niall shakes his head, making a couple of tears drop to his cheeks. “Stay, just be quiet.”

Harry nods and plays his luck dragging him to his chest. Niall cries holding Harry’s shirt in his fist, trying to swallow his whining. He hides his face on his neck and Harry plays with his hair until they both fall asleep.

That’s how Bobby finds them forty minutes later, and that’s how he leaves them after covering them with a blanket to go to buy something to cook.

*

Harry helps them make dinner and it feels like old times. Niall is boiling the potatoes, Bobby’s seasoning the steak and he takes care of the vegetables. The music is not too loud and the Horans are humming to it. It’s some Irish folk song Bobby used to play the first couple of times Niall brought Harry home, just to make him uncomfortable. Somehow, that relieves him.

They haven’t talked since Bobby woke them up to help him cook, Niall’s body was on the top of Harry’s and he was holding him with both arms around his waist, his lips dangerously close to his forehead. Niall rubbed his eyes and yawned before looking up to Harry’s face, he just smiled and Niall stood up, giving him his hand to help him get on his feet.

It amazes Harry, how it doesn’t matter how long they have been apart, they still seem to be connected by the way they’re moving in the kitchen without stepping on each other, almost like they were dancing. Just like this moment, they’re setting the table and Niall goes below his arm fitting perfectly when he puts the plate on his dad’s seat and Harry must be stopped, he has to stop thinking like this because it won’t end well.

Niall is heartbroken right now and Harry shouldn’t be filling up with hope in a situation like this. But it’s hard when he’s giving him those little shy smiles like when they discovered they liked each as other more than friends, especially with the feeling of being in the same house they shared a lot of happy memories, sitting at the same table, laughing at the same jokes like nothing happened, like no one was hurt.

Now they’re talking loudly and Harry knows Bobby does it to distract his son from whatever is on his mind, that’s what Harry’s doing too. And the food is almost finished so eventually the conversations starts to die, slowly. That was Harry was afraid of, because now the attention will be on him.

“Ehm,” Niall plays with what was left of the mashed potatoes, avoiding Harry’s eyes, “Never saw you in that big movie.”

“Oh, he had a car accident, right?” Bobby talks before Harry could think of a rational excuse.

Niall’s face changes completely. He drops the fork and looks at his dad with wide eyes and mouth open and then he turns to Harry, looking furious and so confused.

“A car accident? Why didn’t you tell me? Did you come home?” he’s rushing his words and Harry can’t catch up. He never thought he would explain this to him, it was never his intention for him to know.

Harry shakes his head, without knowing what to say. “We weren’t together anymore-”

“So what?” Niall’s face is red and his hands turn into fists over the table, “Does that mean I don’t care about you anymore? That I wouldn’t worry for you? I’m still talking to Gemma, she never said anything.”

“I asked her not to. After I told her the reason why I broke up with you, she understood.” Harry says choosing his words carefully.

“Well, sorry, but I don’t understand.” Niall shakes his head and he looks exactly like he did in finals week, frustrated, exhausted and mad. “How bad was it?”

“Not too-”

“He was in bed for two months.” Bobby says, quickly enough to cut him midsentence. Harry looks at him, frowning and slowly opening his mouth in surprise.

“You’re not helping Bobby!” he says, sounding like a kid and Bob laughs.

“I’m not here to make things easy on you, son.”

Niall looks at them but before he can ask how in the world Bobby knows about the accident before him, someone knocks at the door. Niall sighs loudly, gaining their attention as he stands up and goes to open the door. The table is not far from the front door, so Harry follows Niall with his eyes.

Bobby turns the moment he hears the door open and they see Greg standing in front of him with his hands in his coat pockets and looking at Niall in a way Harry hasn’t seen before, but judging by Bobby’s expression, this is not the first time something like this happens between them.

 “If you’re here to say something like _‘I told you so’_ you can leave right now.” Niall’s voice sounds suddenly tired.

“I wouldn’t do that Niall, we’re not kids anymore.” Greg steps into the house and sits in the couch and Niall follows him with his head down, his hand messing up his own hair.

“Help me with the dishes, let’s give them some privacy.” Bobby says, standing up with both his and Niall’s plates in his hands. Harry nods, picking up everything his hands could hold.

*

Harry didn’t expect to spend the night, but Greg left pretty late and they were hiding in the kitchen the whole time, so Bobby told him he could catch the early morning train if he had things to do in Dublin.

Now they have beers in their hands watching some recorded football match but no one is actually excited, Niall keeps drinking, quietly and slowly. Maybe he doesn’t want them to notice, but that’s ridiculous because Harry hasn’t take his eyes off him all day.

“What are you gonna do, boy?” Bobby says looking at his son before taking another sip of his second bottle.

“I don’t know, Da. I don’t wanna think about it yet.” Niall takes a long sip and puts the bottle on the coffee table.

Harry feels like he’s intruding by sitting in the middle of them, and he would gladly go to sleep to let them talk if he wasn’t sleeping in the couch.

“Greg and John will get my things out of the apartment this week. I don’t wanna go to London or Dublin anymore.” Niall says, finally acknowledging Harry by looking at him, he smiles and turns to the tv again, maybe wishing he wasn’t there.

“You can come to LA with me.” Harry says before even thinking about it properly.

The room goes silent and both Bobby and Niall look at him. Niall is in shock, looking at him like he just lost his mind and maybe that’s right because Harry has no idea why he said that. Suddenly the room is pretty hot and he’s not brave enough to look at Bobby’s face to see his expression. He’s about to stand up to go to the bathroom or use a lame excuse to get out of the house when Bobby talks.

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” He drinks what remains of his beer and looks at the game like nothing happened.

Niall’s mouth falls open and his eyes goes all over the place. “What are you talking about? I can’t move to America!”

Bobby laughs. “I’m not saying you should live there, but maybe spend some time far from all of this will be good to you.”

Harry smiles trying not to think about his words too much. He turns to Niall, places his hand on his knee to calm him down a little and it works immediately. His breathing slows down and his eyes focus on Harry’s, but he looks scared still, like a man with too many scars who doesn’t fully understand how the world works. Harry holds his hand and Niall squeezes his fingers.

“I’ll buy you a ticket tomorrow in Dublin, you can stay in my flat or I can hook you up in some nice hotel.” Harry tries not to sound too excited, so he bites his smile and looks at Niall in anticipation.

“I don’t think is a good idea…” Niall says, looking down at his hands.

“I’m still buying the ticket. My flight is this Tuesday, 10 in the morning.”

Niall nods, but doesn’t say much the rest of the night.

*

Harry is optimistic, some people would say naive, but at thirty minutes before his flight is to part, he’s sitting along with his suitcase in front of him not hearing about Niall since the moment he left him at the train station. And maybe he’s not coming, he didn’t looks so convinced after all, and Harry didn’t get an answer or confirmation after he sent Niall his ticket right after he bought it.

He feels this lump in his throat like he’s about to cry when there’s no real reason for him to feel hurt. Niall doesn’t owe him a thing and he’s going through something no one should. Harry just hopes he’s okay, eventually. He takes his earphones out of his pocket and connects it to his phone, putting his music library on shuffle hoping a sad song comes on to match his emotional state.

And it couldn’t been long, maybe four songs in but he has his eyes closed and he’s tapping to the rhythm so he doesn’t feel when someone sits right next to him, not until this person takes one of the earphones out.

“We have to establish rules.”

Harry opens his eyes and turns to the Irish accent to his right, dropping his phone from the sudden movement. Niall laughs and Harry tries so hard not to look so happy while he picks up his phone from the floor. He nods when he finally looks at Niall, his bag at his feet, sunglasses on even when he doesn’t need them inside and a light jacket.

“I don’t want you to apologize every five minutes for what happened,” Niall looks up to Harry waiting for a confirmation so he nods, “I don’t want you to impress me with places or friends. I’m not coming back to your life, Harry. I’m just a coward running away from my problems.”

Harry shakes his head, looking right into Niall’s eyes. “You’re not a coward, Niall. You just need a break.”

Niall laughs, taking his sunglasses off as he looks at the people in front of him going from one place to another. No one knows him here, no one knows how everything he had planned for the next five years just fell apart, no one knows Harry either or the history he has with him, what they have been through, what they lost and how things ended. Specially, no one here cares.

“I wish it was harder, you know? Being mad at you. Being able to say no to you.” Niall says, looking at Harry, studying his reaction, but he just looks sad.

And the thing is, he hasn’t changed a lot, he still dresses extravagantly and he looks incredible in anything he wears, he’s a bit bigger, muscular, but the smile is the same, the little spark in his eyes is the same. His hair is short and somehow he looks younger, but the new tattoos on his skin remind Niall that time has passed.

“Seeing you again,” Niall sighs. “I don’t know if it was the perfect or the worst timing ever.” He laughs again and Harry just looks at him.

“We’ll see.”


End file.
